⟪ she flips the pancake, but she's losing focus on her task. this isn't the first time he's spoken of something that very, very clearly troubles and haunts him, this isn't the first time she has seen him in a difficult situation. but this is the first time it seems almost as if he is losing a fight with himself. there's a tension to him she hasn't seen in that fashion, has only gotten hints of when he'd spoken of the war. her hearing's fine, finer than most humans, it's one of the perks –– but it means she can hear the unevenness in his breathing. ⟫

If it's an option. If not... I'm not gonna get mad, either. You said it yourself, you're coping. I wanna make it easier for you, not harder.

⟪ and if easier means hearing it from bill rather than from sam himself, then that's alright with her. this isn't some kind of game of closeness she's trying to win. it's important to her that he knows that she would want to know, it's more important that he knows she's got his back no matter what.

still, she pushes the pan back on the stovetop. the first one's never much good, anyway, and the batter can wait. ⟫

Is it okay for you if I take a look at your hands?

⟪ she doesn't say: it hurts just to see them like this. it's true though, seeing him as he is right now is painful, and in no pitying way. ⟫

You can say 'no'.

⟪ there are a lot of implied questions in it, after all: is it okay if she gets closer, is it okay if she sits down with him? she's not asking if it would help – she's not sure he'd have an answer for that one in the first place. much as she wants to help, this is new for her, and she's got no manual to go by. what she has is so much love for him that she wants to find out what works, step by step, for today and any other day that's as hard on him as this time. ⟫